Healing is transformative. At some point, you stop explaining. You stop defending. You stop needing people to ‘get it.’ Because healing doesn’t require permission, approval, or applause.
Healing is when you stop needing to be seen as the victim because you don’t feel like one anymore.
Let’s talk about what that looks like.
You Stop Needing to Prove Your Pain: Once upon a time, you needed people to validate your experience. You wanted them to say, “Wow, I can’t believe you went through that.” You needed acknowledgment. You needed them to see you. When healing happens the need fades. You don’t need people to believe you. You don’t need to replay the story repeatedly to feel justified. You know what happened and how it affected you, and that’s enough.
You Let Go of the "Justice Fantasy": Some folks will never own what they did. Some people lie, manipulate, gaslight, and rewrite history to avoid accountability. And when you’re still hurting, that will drive you crazy. When you heal, you release the need for their apology, reckoning, or karma. You’re done waiting for them to do the right thing.
Healing is realizing their inability to be accountable is their burden, not yours.
You Stop Needing to Control the Narrative: You're no longer trying to ensure people see the real story. You're not making sure they know the truth of trying to correct the lies, the half-truths, the twisted versions they put out there. You don't have a wounded heart still trying to protect itself. Healing is realizing your freedom doesn’t depend on their version of events. They can say whatever, think whatever, believe whatever, but you? You're good. You’re too busy being free to care.
You Choose Peace Over Proving a Point: Maybe before, you were ready to argue, fight, and go back and forth. Maybe you were writing paragraphs, sending receipts, making sure folks knew the truth. Now, you pause and breathe. You decide your energy is too valuable to waste on people committed to misunderstanding you.
Healing makes silence more powerful than a clapback.
You Recognize You Are More Than What You Survived: For a long time, your story was your identity. What you went through was how you defined yourself. Now, you see yourself beyond the trauma, beyond the hurt, beyond what was done to you.
You are not the victim. You are more than a survivor.
You are a whole, powerful, free human being who made it through and thrived anyway.
Healing is a process, and sometimes you need a guide along the way. Download my Healing Self-Reflection Journal Prompts to help you process where you are and where you're going.
